Cameron Wagner apparently left quite an impact on the people he knew.
The 13-year-old took his life March 19, but he was on the mind of many people at this year’s Oconto County Youth Fair, held Aug. 27-30 in Gillett, and the Lena/St. Thomas Aquinas football team’s home opener Aug. 27 at Lena High School, where he would have been a freshman this school year.
“Cameron knew everybody and loved everybody, just a very kind person,” said his mother, Monica Wagner. “He loved making relationships. His best friends were 80-year-olds and they were 13-year-olds. He just loved to get to know you and love you. He liked plowing snow for the neighbors or cutting grass, yet he loved being a boy, hanging out with his buddies.”
Cameron attended school in the Suring, Gillett and Lena areas in the past.
“I’m a teacher, so I started at one school and moved to the school district that we actually live in and ended up teaching in my hometown, which is Lena,” Wagner said. “My husband, Shaun, is from Suring, and he and I had both taught in Suring. We live in the Gillett School District. When I first started teaching, I taught high school science, but I found out I really loved middle school. When Gillett had a middle school opening, we hopped over there, and when Lena had a middle school science position, I hopped over there.”
That helped her son meet people throughout Oconto County, according to Wagner.
“He has friends from all over,” she said. “When we did his funeral, he had 10 adult pallbearers and 10 youth pallbearers. He has Suring friends, Coleman friends and Gillett friends. He had all these different connections.”
One of Cameron’s favorite activities was participating in the Christy Brook 4-H Club.
The Gillett-based club had a booth in the expo building at the Oconto County Youth Fair, where Cameron exhibited animals and other projects over the years, to promote mental health and suicide awareness.
“This year, Christy Brook specifically is focusing on mental health and suicide prevention,” said Melissa Desterheft, the club’s co-leader. “It’s a very, very hard subject to talk about, but we have to normalize it. We have a table in the Expo hall that’s filled with mental health and suicide prevention literature. That’s become a huge passion for all of us.”
Meanwhile, two of Cameron’s friends and his sister, Addison, showed his cattle during the fair’s cattle show Aug. 28.
“We have a boy who’s from our 4-H group,” Monica Wagner said. “Brody’s going to be showing one of his steers and Clark, a friend of his from Suring, is showing his other steer. Everett, his friend from Gillett, is going to walk one of his calves with Addison. They’re all friends from the fair, school, sports and 4-H. We’re all (in) different 4-H groups, but when you’re in the barn, you become one great big family. We’re grateful that they’re going to walk his animals in Cam’s honor.
“This has probably been our hardest week since he passed. (The fair) was like his favorite thing. The kids are doing such great things and we’re very blessed. The fair board has been phenomenal, and they’re going to let these two young boys sell Cameron’s steers. We have a fund started that we’re going to give back to all the activities he was involved in, his sports, trapshooting, his church. We’re going to help out in little ways the best that we can and make his memory live on.”
Wagner said the 4-H club was one of her son’s many passions.
“This is his favorite week of the year, other than deer hunting,” she said. “He loved 4-H. It’s a civic group, so you get to help people. We have a small little farmette, so he raised cattle. Addison, our younger daughter, is going to show his calves this year, so it’ll be her first time showing. That group means a lot to us. They’re not only our friends, they’re like our family. We do a lot of community service stuff together and live near each other. We love what it means and what it stands for.”
Cameron was going to exhibit two steers and two calves at this year’s fair, Wagner said.
“He’s been doing mini-showmanships since he was probably 2 or 3 years old,” she said. “His first year, he did maple syrup and corn or some vegetable. They all started with chickens and progressively got bigger.”
“We did memory books for Cameron and all the kids could do it,” Desterheft said. “It’s hard because it’s a very touchy subject. Our ages probably range from 6 to 15, so you’re going to talk to a 6-year-old much differently than a 15-year-old. I know individual parents have looked into a lot of resources and have had those discussions. That’s one of the reasons why kids need to be part of a group. You’re valued, you’re needed, you’re cared for. We want to make sure we push that.”
Wagner’s brother, Ed Huberty, co-coaches the Lena/STA 8-player football team with Dale Lange.
Cameron’s family attended the Titans’ home opener against Goodman/Pembine on Aug. 27 and handed out stickers with his initials that the players will wear on the back of their helmets this season.
“He was very excited to have Ed as his coach, so we’re kind of sad that that didn’t come through,” Wagner said. “I taught most of those kids, so it was very heartwarming and made us feel good. Seeing them in their helmets was very emotional. Ed had two lines, and Shaun gave out stickers to one and my daughter Ryann and I gave out stickers to the other line.”
“His mom was one of our first trainers here and he’s Ed’s nephew,” Lange said. “It’s tough. There were some eyes that weren’t dry in the beginning. It was an emotional night.”
Wagner said her son never showed any indication that something was wrong.
“Very unexpected and I think that’s what was so hard for all of us,” she said. “The kid was like the happiest-go-lucky kid ever. The day before was a major snowstorm and he was loving life. He plowed out our two neighbors and plowed a path from our driveway down the county road about a tenth of a mile to their road to help them get out. I know he was supposed to clean the barn that day, the skid steer broke and he had to use the wheelbarrow.
“Here’s this kid that so many people adored and looked up to. He never showed a sign and it just happened. We want to make sure we’re educating kids. If you have bad moments, reach out. We want to make sure that kids know that somebody’s there for them. That’s what’s the hardest thing for our family. As a parent, that’s what’s hard for me. He was such a bigger-than-life personality. Everybody loved him and he loved life.”
FYI
Melissa Desterheft, co-leader of the Christy Brook 4-H Club, posted the following message Aug. 27 on the club’s Facebook page. One of the club’s members, Cameron Wagner, took his life March 19.
A conversation we can’t be afraid to have
From all of us at Christy Brook 4-H, we want to take a moment to talk about something that can be incredibly difficult, but incredibly important: mental health and suicide prevention.
Sometimes the hardest conversations are the ones we need to have the most.
Mental health struggles don’t have an age limit. They don’t always have a certain look, and sometimes the person who is hurting the most is the person who seems to have it all together.
That’s why we believe we have to start making these conversations more normal. We have to be willing to ask how someone is really doing, listen without judgment, and remind people that they don’t have to face their struggles alone. We need to advocate for ourselves. We need to advocate for our children. We need to advocate for our friends, our families, our neighbors, and our communities. Most importantly, we need to remind one another that no problem is too big — or too small — to ask for help.
Whether you’re a child struggling to find your place, a teenager feeling overwhelmed, a parent who is exhausted, or an adult quietly carrying more than anyone realizes — your feelings matter. Your life matters. You matter.
There are people who want to help. There are resources available. Reaching out isn’t weakness. It is courage.
So let’s be the people who check in.
Let’s be the people who listen.
Let’s be the people who speak up.
Let’s be the people who make asking for help feel safe.
If you’re struggling, please don’t wait until things feel unbearable. Tell someone. Reach out. Ask for help.
We may not always have the right words, but we can always start with “I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Let’s take care of our kids.
Let’s take care of each other.
Let’s make mental health something we talk about — not something we hide.
From our 4-H family to yours: Please reach out. Please speak up. Please keep going. You are worth it.
Cameron Wagner is pictured with his parents, Shaun and Monica Wagner, at a wrestling tournament. He participated in several sports over the years, including football, wrestling and track. (Contributed)
The Christy Brook 4-H Club set up a booth in memory of Cameron Wagner, a 13-year-old student who took his life in March, in the expo building at this year’s Oconto County Youth Fair in Gillett. (Greg Seubert)
